So it’s now the middle of September and all of my friends have now gone back to start their 2nd year of University. I, however, still don’t know what I want to do with my life and I’m feeling a bit lost. So where better to rant then on here?
I’ve always been so determined to do better then my family. To get an amazing career that I love, and not just a job for the money. I’ve put so much pressure on myself over the past few years that I’ve lost sight on what I really want to do and how I’m going to get there.
I’ve looked at university but I just know it’s not for me. I’d love to do it but I know it would send me in a pretty deep downward spiral and I’d rather not go through that. I’ve been looking at doing an English Language A-level through a distance learning course but looking through sample lessons it just seems impossible. I know it’s not meant to be easy but can I really do it on my own? I’ve always struggled with school and education. I’m not a very academic person in the slightest. Always preferred to learn on the job, but nowadays it seems no-one is willing to give you a chance to learn on the job without a degree behind you. I just feel like I’m going in circles.
I want to have a passion for something. I want to want to work so hard that everything else seems irrelevant. I want to keep going till I can’t go anymore. I just can’t seem to find that passion within me. I don’t know what to thrive for. I just want someone to shout at me what I should do with my life, but I know that’s not the answer is it? haha.
I love love love the job I have now, I couldn’t think of a better job. I love the people there and I love what I get to do. I just feel like everyone expects more of me, that I should be doing something else, learning something, going somewhere. It’s like everyone knows the answer but me.
All my friends are doing some amazing things and meeting some amazing people and have all these cool opportunities and I’m so proud of them, but I just can’t seem to catch up with them.
I suppose I just feel a little left behind, which is no fault but my own.
Anyone else gone through this and got any advice? Or is this something I’ll hopefully figure out on my own? (Soon hopefully)