NYE Anxiety…

 

It’s the biggest night of the year. Everyone will be dressed up to an 11/10 and drinking to forget the year. I think it’s everyone favourite night.

People get so drunk they forget the sh*t year they’ve had. Forget their ex, forget their awful grades at school, forget all the bad things they’ve done and start afresh. Just like that. A 10 second count down and all the bad stuff you’ve done is in the past. But it’s not really is it? It’s still there, you can’t just erase everyones’ memory, it’ll always be in the back of your head and theirs. All that stuff makes you who you are, bad or not, it’s put you where you are today.

Let’s not forget the new years resolutions everyone makes, the typical: Start the gym, save money, loose weight, be nicer. It all ends within the first month, if not the first fortnight. All I want in the new year is for my friends and family to be happy and healthy.

Everyone loves New Years Eve. But not me, it’s probably the worst night of the year for me.

Pubs and clubs are the epitome of my anxiety already. I can’t go out and drink, that makes me feel 100x worse and I don’t like confined spaces. But the thought of being surrounded by loads of strangers and sweaty people so drunk they can’t stand wishing me a happy new year doesn’t sit right with me. You’ll never see these people again, you don’t know anything about them. Why would you want to welcome a new year in with them? Call me a stick in the mud, but spending it with my family, or people very close to me, and being able to remember the last few hours of the year seems much better to me. They’re the people I spend most of the year with, so I’ll end the year with them too.

The future. The future also is something that my anxiety stems from.  There’s a part of my brain that’s a little bit different from everyone else my age. Most people will be ‘living for the now’ but I physically can’t do that. My brain won’t let me do that. I constantly worry about the future. So how can I enjoy a night that celebrates the unknown of the next year. Will it be a good year? Will it be awful? Will I still be sat in my mum and dads house next year, uncertain of a career path, sitting behind my laptop? There’s so many questions that won’t be answered till I know and that gives me anxiety. I hate the unknown, I like being able to prepare myself.

Lets not forget the 10 second countdown, that whole build up is the worst 10 seconds of my year. My belly churns. I can’t give the exact reason, it just does. It’s also a complete anti-climax, all you see after 10 seconds is a different number at the end of the year and hear a few fireworks, but it triggers something in my head that doesn’t make me feel at ease.

It’s a night for celebration, it always has and always will be. It’s a nice night, but it’s also the worst night for me. Don’t get me wrong I will send all my favourites a text wishing them a good one along with a cheesy paragraph. I’ll also have lots of fun eating food and playing games with my family. I don’t not like new years eve, I just don’t enjoy it as much as I’d like too.

Do you know what the best thing is though… I wake up feeling fresh without any hangover. I get to laugh at everyone who’s lying in bed feeling like poo. Great start to the New Year if you ask me.

I do hope you all have a happy new year, and I hope to see more of you guys in the new year
but for now I’m signing off and preparing myself for tonight.
Lots of love
Chlobo xx
Advertisements

9 Comments Add yours

  1. Nicole Marie says:

    While I was reading this, it sounded like I was reading my own words! I second every single you said in this post! You are not alone lovely. Alcohol, small spaces and the unknown all give me anxiety too! I have never enjoyed NYE and never will! I never make New Years resolutions because I don't see the point! I make goals for my blog, to keep me motaviated though! I enjoy another NYE in tonight doing the things I love with the people I love knowing that tomorrow I can have another great day not feeling really ill!
    This is such a lovely post to read, something very close to my heart x

    http://thriftyvintagefashion.blogspot.co.uk/

    Like

  2. Amy Thompson says:

    Same here, feels like I'm reading my own words. I don't see the point in people getting legless and having hangover the next day. I also stress and worry way too much about tb3 future. So I understand your post. Thanks for sharing and I hope you manage to put the anxiety at bay and have a good night.

    Amy http://www.freshfacedbliss.co.uk

    Like

  3. Amy Thompson says:

    Same here, feels like I'm reading my own words. I don't see the point in people getting legless and having hangover the next day. I also stress and worry way too much about tb3 future. So I understand your post. Thanks for sharing and I hope you manage to put the anxiety at bay and have a good night.

    Amy http://www.freshfacedbliss.co.uk

    Like

  4. Thank you so so much for your comment! It's always so reassuring knowing you're not the only one. I appreciate all the support from my loved ones, but it's never the same as someones words who suffers with it aswell. I also make blog resolutions but that's really it haha! I hope you have a lovely night xx

    Like

  5. Thank you so much! Thank you for commenting, letting me know i'm not alone in this. You too, have a good one! Xxx

    Like

  6. I don't suffer from anxiety like this but there can be times when I feel anxious – I can go to pubs and clubs to celebrate NYE so you can laugh at me tomorrow :p Hope you have a nice NYE and can control your anxiety I've done a post on things that help me when I'm feeling anxious

    Leanne | http://www.oohsimplething.blogspot.co.uk

    Like

  7. Thank yo beaut! I will be sure to check in and see how you're feeling tomorrow haha! Have a good night xxxx

    Like

  8. Philocalist says:

    I feel exactly the same! I probably go on about 3 nights out a year because I get too worked up with my anxiety! The thought of a new 365 days is daunting, but I do hope you don't let it ruin your night. I'm staying in and cooking – what's more comforting than food? Haha!

    Like

  9. That's like me, I miss out so many nights out because of it! Yes, i'm having a big food fest at my nans with all my family, couldn't think of nothing better! Hope you have a lovely night x

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s