Wow, what a year it’s been ey? Don’t you think it’s flown by, or is that just me? A lot of things have happened this year in my personal life and here’s some things to name a few:
- My sister left to go travelling (worse feeling ever)
- I turned 21
- Visited Canada
- Finally got control over my anxiety
What was that last point you say? Yep, this year was a huge year for me in terms of mental health. It was my best year yet. I’m not sure what changed, I’d like to say I started therapy or yoga but it was none of that. Just me and my brain learning to get along and getting to know each other again. Don’t get me wrong I still have a long way to go, but at the moment, just me, myself and a bunch of shit hot friends and family that keep you on the right track is what is working for me right now.
I wrote a post two years ago about how much I hate New Years and thought of it. Reading back on it I can’t believe how negative it was, you can see I wasn’t in a good head space. It almost makes me cringe, but I won’t delete it and I’m not embarrassed about it. That year was a part of my life and a part of my journey and looking back on it and comparing it to how I’m feeling this year is a great feeling…
I went out for New Year’s Eve this year. Yes, actually went out to a pub with my friends on the busiest night of the year. Crazy right? Want to know something crazier? I bloody loved it.
Every year for as long as I can remember I wake up on New Year’s Eve riddled with anxiety. I wake up feeling physically sick and unable to get out of bed, I refuse to leave the house and I’m an arsehole to everyone I come in contact with. Then as soon as the clock hits 12 I cry, never for a specific reason I just sob. This year none of that happened, not a single anxious thought entered my brain and it felt fucking amazing. I’m for once feeling so positive about the year ahead.
2018 for me is all about self love, ( I know what you’re all thinking.. not that kind of self love 👀). With my anxiety under control I can finally do things I’ve never been able to do before and finally set myself some goals. Not resolutions, nothing solid I pressure myself to do, but something to work towards.
Two years ago writing that NYE Anxiety post I didn’t see a way out, I thought i’d be like this for the rest of my life. It’s amazing what can happen in two years. Trust yourself and your brain. Spend more time on yourself than worrying what others think, and be a little bit kinder to yourself. It goes a long way. Your mental health doesn’t define you, and you will get to where you want to be eventually.
Lots of love,