Defriending and unfollowing in real life.

It’s easy to remove someone from your Facebook feed or twitter timeline, with just a click of a button they can be gone. However, it’s really not that easy to delete people from your life. Or is it?

I’ve stated in previous blogposts that this year is about me. It’s time we start putting ourselves first and make ourselves a priority. I’m confident in saying I always put other people before myself, even if it’s not in my best interest to, or it doesn’t benefit me in any way. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but at some point you have to take a step back and be a little bit selfish. So that’s what I’m doing…

My first step in putting myself first is removing toxic people in my life. Life is too short to have people around you that don’t make you feel good and positive about yourself and life in general.

I have people in my life I love dearly and I’ve known for a very long time but they’re not my people anymore. We’re different people and we just don’t gel. I don’t necessarily trust them with things like I used to and we don’t really have things in common. Which is completely normal and acceptable but it’s taken me a long time to realise that. I’ve always felt forced to keep these friendships alive because they’re all I’ve ever known and there’s not an outright problem between us, but if it’s not feeling like a true friendship anymore what’s the point of forcing yourself into a situation where you’re going to be completely uncomfortable? If I’m not being my silly weird childish self around them, then I’m not being myself and what kind of friendship is that? I’m not saying I’m never going to see or speak to these people again, I’m just not going to openly force myself into their company if I don’t feel comfortable to.

I also have people in my life that I have now realised are just toxic. For a long time they’ve been around me and we’ve been friends but they’ve never necessarily got me as a person, or even worse, not accepted the me that has mental health issues. If I’m not who they want me/expect me to be then I’m not good enough. I forced these friendships for a long time. Tried my best to fit in, because I do genuinely care for these people but their company is not good for my mental health and I of course, will always put that first.

I accept that there’s still a stigma around mental health issues, and there probably always will be and some people just don’t get what it is because they’ve never experienced it. What I don’t accept is people, who are my friends, not understanding that it’s something that I struggle with, and sometimes I can do things and sometimes I can’t and then penalise me for being this way. Believe it or not, I don’t choose to have anxiety. There’s a lot of things I’d love to be able to do, and one day I will, but I’m not quite there yet.

I’ve learnt over the past few years you don’t need large amount of friends, or a large friendship group, you just need a handful of a few very best friends that uplift you and motivate you in every way possible. I know who these people are in my life and I make sure that they know it. It’s so Important to let people know you appreciate them and their friendship.

I don’t think clearing people out of your life is a bad thing, it’s a positive thing. It means change and growth as a person. If I was still the same person I was in high school, I’d be disappointed. Mainly because I had horrific hair and make up back then. Lol I joke, I mean I did but you know that’s not what I meant.

My point is,we all need a clean up now and again, and sometimes that includes reevaluating who’s in your life and if they’re meant to be. If they’re not making you 100% happy and carefree put them in the bin. Who wants to feel judged when you’re with a group of mates? No ta, If I wanted to be judged I’d be on BGT. (Not X factor cause let’s face it, I can’t sing for shit)

Talk to me, should we be deleting toxic people from our lives, or just putting these people on ‘mute’ ?


Chlobo xx

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Yeah I posted about the same topic recently and agree with pretty much everything you said. You can’t force people to like you and if they can’t accept you for who you are then I think it’s best to cut ties. Great post 👍🏻🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chloe says:

      Oh really, i’ll take a read. Nice to know I’m not the only one. Thank you for commenting 🙂


  2. Wow really a wonderful post.
    I just wrote on the same line and stating that we need to be our own best friend first…
    Dropping here the link. Hope you will like it
    Love & Hugs


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